and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
