I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
