is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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