I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Mom said you looked used
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize