my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
