yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
only you would photoshop your dick
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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