hell yes lets make some ravioli
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
