when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
