I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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