I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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