it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
