I just pynch a tree in the face
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
