You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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