Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
