then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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