3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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