evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
