So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
time to smoke my breakfast
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
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Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
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Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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