haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
