remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
