I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
