haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
