Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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