I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
