I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
