I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
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Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
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We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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