Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
