a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
