well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
