Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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