Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
