Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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