There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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