It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
