He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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