Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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