marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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