It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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