After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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