I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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