Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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