i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
