you guys were way drunker than both of me
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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