im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
