It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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