Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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