We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
