So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize