I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
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My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
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Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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