and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize