I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
