Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
