I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
