You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
