The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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