That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You made out with two different species that night
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
