she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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