I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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