You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize