so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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