He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
