Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
