Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
