R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize