I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
