Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize