my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
