so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I would ride that face into the sunset
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
